Tap That…Water!

This is a public service announcement for all those who live in Philadelphia. Well, let’s be serious here…I do not exactly have a following here so I am most likely just talking to myself, but this message is much needed. It suddenly got from 65 degree weather to sweltering 90s in only a few days. What a change, what a change. My body is definitely struggling with this adjustment. I have constant headaches, and  a call-out from work to prove it. One minute I am talking to my co-worker, the next, I have fallen on the floor, with vision oh-so-fuzzy. It’s time to be drinking the water like a thirsty camel in the desert.

You know which people really grind my gears? The ones who refuse to drink from water fountains and…gasp! faucets. They waste all this plastic and money, buying bottled water when they can get the good ol’ stuff for free from their sink. Sure, tap water can have a little bit of an unpleasant taste if you are not used to it, but, like switching from whole to skim milk, you can get used to it. Plus, you are not littering the earth with all this extra plastic. If I want to pizzazz my water a bit, I will add lime or lemon juice. The flavor can also definitely help those who have not gotten used to the faucets.

So, make sure you are drinking something besides PBR and diet soda, or you might end up feeling like little elves wearing soccer cleats are stomping around in your brain.

Cheers!

Vanity Trap

My whole life has been wasted away with some stupid hope. This hope is not peace in the Middle East or winning a million dollars from the Pennsylvania lottery. No, but this hope is just as impossible, just as make-believe.  For those who might know me through work, college or childhood.  My life has revolved around the dangerous sun of physical appearance. Nay, more like physical perfection.

For years, ever since puberty, I have been trying to loose weight. Countless pieces of paper in journals have been devoted to my new regimes that would promise 20 pound weight loss. By October, I will vow to weigh in at 120 lbs. How, might you ask? Plans could range from banning food group to food group. No meat or dairy, just vegetables and fruits. No fruits, bread or bagels, just lean meats and dairy. No food after 5pm, only one small meal a day. And, of course, the body cleanse fast, the no-solids-just-liquids deal. No alcohol, just healthy food. Just liquids, including alcohol. Running five times a week, or weight lifting 5 times a week and no running. Every week, a weigh in. I lost five pounds! No pounds lost for two straight weeks in a row. Time to grab the peanut butter sandwiches and chocolate chips by the handful.

Now, I range from a size 6 or 8, but I pine to be a size 2 or 4. This is a false dream, one that would require anorexia. But, these no-eating plans just backfire, usually making me eat more and dream about ice cream and chocolate more than I ever did before. It is frustrating, logging in on a facebook and seeing the pictures of my perfect, pretty facebook friends. Even more frustrating, is when I am taking a picture next to these skinnistas. I look like Goliath next to thin, sleek poles. Having a full, Eastern-European face does not help either. Avoiding the double chin is very tricky when people are taking pictures from every angle candidly. When I am watching movies, I watch attentively at starlets jawlines, praying that they too might have double chins when making crazy expressions. I was so relieved that Kate Hudson had a double chin when shot side-angled in Something Borrowed (a disappointing movie, by the way. Not worth seeing).

This sounds stupid, but ever since I was little I figured I would eventually morph from an awkward, frumpy girl to a beautiful, swan princess. Though people tell me I’m cute, I will never be a gorgeous model, a flawless Disney heroine (Pocahontas was very important to me growing up, and the b**** has the perfect hourglass figure).  I guess being picked on when I was young did not help. I was a nice, quiet girl, an easy prey. Girls would call me “booger nose.” The fat kid in class one time walked by me and said I had a big body and a small head. Though they were probably picking on me mostly because I was an easy target, I cannot help but think that it had to do with the way I looked. Boys have never really approached me, and I figured that loosing weight and looking beautiful would get there attention.

I am trying to change my focus from physical beauty to inner talents and simple joys of life. This is hard for me, though, with all my history. Has any girl (or guy…I know it can happen to you all, too) felt that there life has been devoted to physical beauty? Have you overcome it, or how are you trying to overcome it?

I would really like to know. Thank you!